See, there are two kinds of fear. I’m not referring to the healthy kind of fear. Healthy fear is the kind that tells you to run for your life when an angry bear is chasing you! I’m talking emotional fear. This fear holds you back, paralyzes you, and prevents you from living the amazing life you are destined for.
The mind is incredibly powerful. When you start to believe something, that belief has the power to manifest itself in real life. I’ve written posts in the past about mindset and healing, but I haven’t touched on it from this aspect. Odd, because for me the biggest part of healing was getting fear out of my mind. Fear, and self love go hand in hand. (I wrote a post about the importance of knowing your worth in order to heal. You can read that here.) If you can get rid of the fear, then you can find the courage to love yourself and from that love comes healing.
So here’s the thing, the thing that most people don’t talk about… receiving a diagnosis of any kind is TERRIFYING. It will rock you to your core and leave you trembling in a heap of tears in the shower. Sobbing and crying out for something, anything, to take that fear and that reality away. The fear of dying, the fear of the unknown, the fear of life suddenly changing. It’s a lonely place, and not one that can be easily put into words. You have this feeling, this emotion deep in your core, like a pit of despair that eats at you and leaves you wondering if life will ever feel normal again. You wonder if you can go on like this, can you really handle one more thing being thrown at you? Can you really take one more pill, go through one more surgery, or deal with one more doctor?!! Will you ever be able to live a day without thinking about this? It is so overwhelming that it really feels all consuming. You wake up thinking about, brush your teeth thinking about it, drive thinking about it, and go to bed thinking about. With this fear comes an angry depression that just threatens to eat you whole like vultures in the desert surrounding you while you’re buried up to your neck in sand.
There is really no way to prepare for this feeling. No way of knowing that your entire world will be shifted in the blink of an eye. But it happens and you’re left lost, confused and having to pick up the pieces of the brokenness inside. THAT is the hardest part. The picking up the pieces. It’s easy to remain in fear, we don’t have to work to be scared. Fear comes naturally, almost too easily. It takes a certain amount of strength and courage to step aside from that fear. Courage is needed to really get out of your own mind, your own fear, and your own worries. You really have to dig deep to find that strength to tell yourself that you can do this!, you can rise above!, you can beat whatever it is that you’re battling! It’s not an easy feat, but most things in life worth having don’t come easily. You know what else? It doesn’t happen overnight, or in a week. It takes time and patience to overcome the fear that comes with life altering things. Learning to be kind to ourselves, to give ourself the love and nurturing we need is a learned trait. We really need to work at that. So many people struggle to devote even 5 minutes a day to doing things that bring them joy. Start there. That is where we begin to defeat that beast called FEAR. Take time every day to do something for YOU! YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT. Let me repeat myself so you can let it hit home….
YOU. ARE. WORTH. IT!
Here’s something else, and this is a little tough love, at some point we need to step out of our own problems and find a way to be a blessing to someone else. What? you might be asking yourself. Yeah, it sounds crazy. But I promise you, it’s not. I can guarantee you that the number one easiest way to get out of your own pit, is to bring joy to someone else. Doing so accomplishes two things, 1) it feels good to do kind things for others and 2) it allows us to stop thinking of our own fear for a little while. Being a blessing to someone else during your own storm is incredibly courageous! There will be times when you may not have the physical strength to do this, but if you’re awake, you can pray. Pray for someone else. If you’re reading this, you can use your fingers to send a text of encouragement. There are ways, and you never know what a small gesture like that may mean to someone.
I know fear. I know it all too well. I can say every single thing I’ve said about it because I’ve lived it. That was me. There are days that I still struggle with it, but I’ve learned to sense when it’s coming now. I’ve become stronger and know to stop those thoughts. It creeps up on you sometimes, when you least expect it to. Fear is a son of gun. It’s really a sneaky little devil that if you don’t learn to recognize it, you wake up one day and just feel transfixed by it. Going in for any sort of new medical test, a new pain, a new symptom, a food reintro gone wrong, all of those can cause a downward spiral. DO NOT LET IT! Have faith, have courage, be strong and overcome. Don’t let fear win.
During some of my deepest pits, I spent so much time just consumed with my health battle, or any battle for that matter. As important as it was to research how to heal, it was equally important to take breaks and breathe. Sometimes thats all it took. Staying busy with other things, while still taking care of myself. I threw myself into my blog, yoga, building friendships, and other things I love like crocheting, doing fun things with my family, baking, cooking, and going for walks outside. This goes back to doing things that bring you joy. DO THEM! They help.
If this is where you are, have hope, there are brighter tomorrows. I’m sending you love, courage, and prayers.
If this may be someone you know, love that person. Love them fiercely. They are scared to death and need LOTS of love. Be gentle but don’t let them sink deeper into this fear.
If this was you, and not you anymore, then I’m giving you a virtual high five and asking you to pay it forward. Be a blessing to someone else.