Learning To Let Go

  
Letting go of things in life is hard. Its especially difficult if it’s not on our own terms or the need to let go came out of nowhere.  We don’t want to lose things in life and people don’t like change. Whether it is a person, a job, our health, or the idea of something we’ve longed for.  Letting go of whatever it is can hurt, a painful ache deep in our core. We may struggle to hold onto the last shred of what’s left. Even though we know it’s pointless because it’s already gone.  

  
Not everything in life is meant to be forever.  There’s a quote that says “people enter your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime”.  That fits for many things, not just people.  Difficult things, happy things, and everything in between, it all serves a purpose in our life.  

We learn from every person, event and moment in our life. Sure sometimes we need to learn the same lesson over and over to finally stop or start doing whatever it is, but nonetheless we will eventually learn.  Quite often we look back years later and see how certain things that played out in our life have lead to where we are now.  Such as someone who was laid off from a job they hated. That event forced them to find a new career which is now one that brings them joy and fulfillment. At the time they probably were scared about being unemployed with no income, and lost at sea, but things worked out!  If that hadn’t happened they’d still be stuck in a job they hated and absolutely miserable. 

Something I’m learning to understand is that it’s ok to let go of those things that aren’t meant to be for a lifetime.  I’m really stubborn so it usually takes me awhile to learn. Those things that are a reason or a season…I struggle with releasing my grip on those most of the time.  I will fight it until deep down I know it’s a losing battle and I have to let go. 

My health is something I’m learning has changed.  I struggled for many months with my diagnosis.  The realization that although I can put Hashimotos into remission, at any time if I’m not vigilant to take care of myself, it could get triggered again.  It’s a hard pill to swallow.  Learning to let go…

I need to learn to let go of the past. All of it. Not just my idea of health, but also past hurts, bad decisions, painful memories, and all those things that were out of my control. It’s not easy, it hurts, I fight it with every ounce of my being.  Until I’m tired of fighting. And that, that’s when the magic tends to happen.  When we let go, we learn to breathe.  As time goes on the pain we felt lessens. The burden of whatever we were holding onto gets lighter and one day you realize that burden is gone.  We will probably have days we look back and long for the past, for what is now gone.  The memory of what is gone is typically greater than what was lost though.  I’m learning that it’s ok to have those memories, so long as they don’t hold me back from a life of happiness. 

Then we learn to live a new way of life.  Like me learning to live with an autoimmune disease.  Many things are different, but ironically it’s ok!  No, I’m actually happy.  Being diagnosed has forced me to take better care of my health and my families health.  I can no longer live a life of ignorant bliss about what I eat or put on my body.  I’m still struggling to let go of the wish that I could’ve just learned to live a healthier life without this disease.  But the fact is, this is for life.  The sooner I can learn to let it go, the sooner I can breathe.  

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