Autoimmune disease · Hope

When Your World Changes, You Change

There have been many times in my life that my world has fallen apart and each and every time it’s lead to a change inside myself.  

Sometimes changes are positive and for the better within us. Other times it can lead to a hardened heart or an unwillingness to change and improve ourself.  

For example when someone you love hurts you and does something you may see as unforgivable we have a few choices.  We can forgive them and either allow our hearts to be open and vulnerable, forgive and be cautious or even not allow them back into our lives or be unforgiving and shut them out and build a wall.  I suppose what we choose can be situational, depending on the person or the event that took place.  If it’s a spouse we may be more willing to forgive and be vulnerable, if it’s another family member we may choose to forgive but not forget.  If it’s a friend or acquaintance we may forgive and choose for them to not be a part of our lives anymore.  Then there’s always the last option of building a wall and being unforgiving.  I’ve done all of these options at some point in my life.  It’s made me who I am.  For better or worse. 

Allowing myself to vulnerable has allowed my heart to grow in love exponentially. Not just my love for others but love for myself.  It’s made me stronger and made me a more humble person.  By giving others forgiveness we show that we aren’t perfect and we’ve made our own mistakes. After all who’s to say we won’t be in that persons shoes one day begging for our own forgiveness?  When I’ve chosen to not allow certain people in my life anymore, it’s always taken a great deal of thought and prayer.  In the end it’s always been something I never regret. Chances are good those people were toxic and toxins are deadly for us. 

So much of the quote in the picture above has come from being hurt and having to give others grace.  Plenty of times when growth has happened in my life it came from situations out of my control.  How we choose to react to it is what can lead to wisdom, humility, patience, love, and many other positive changes.  

Being dealt the card of an autoimmune disease was not something I wanted, was prepared for, or caused.  It has however changed me. It’s altered my soul and taught me lessons.  I’ve had to become vulnerable again to allow myself to ask others for help. Help in more ways than physical.  I’ve relied on my husband and a few close friends to listen and guide me through tough days when I want to cry endlessly.  

Having this disease doesn’t define me but it has changed me.  I am not hashimotos but hashimotos is a part of who I am.  It took many months for me to come to terms with the diagnosis and if I’m honest with myself I am still coming to terms with it.  I wonder if I ever fully will.  I told my husband and a good friend the other day that in a way I think it was a blessing in disguise.  I’m now forced to eat healthier and take better care of myself. It’s taught me to take better care of my family too.  I’ve had to become stronger in the sense of not allowing myself to walked all over by doctors or any person for that matter.  I am my own advocate.  I have to be the strength to overcome and power through.  

To say that all the strength and change that’s happened was of my own doing would be a huge fallacy.  I wouldn’t be at this point without God.  He has guided me and given me this strength.  So often in our lives God will allow these difficulties to polish us and teach us.  It’s at the point when our knees hit the floor that our heart will soar. 


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