Some days we struggle. We struggle to keep our faith and our hope in God. We struggle to realize that not every day will be easy and perfect because this life isn’t meant for perfection or there’s no point in heaven. We live in a broken world. Some days are REALLY hard. Some seasons of our life are so dark we doubt we will make it through. What I’ve come to realize is those seasons and those days truly make you appreciate the good days, the happy days, the seasons without struggle and pain.
The book of Job always seems to hit home for me. He had everything, his life was perfect. The devil went to God and said let me test him to see how loyal he is to you. God told the devil that Job will never turn his back on Him. The story goes on to show the back and forth of satan repeatedly testing Job by taking his family, his wealth, and eventually his health. Throughout all of it Job never turned his back on God. The devil gave up and God blessed Job in greater abundance than he had previously.
I look back on my life and while I can’t say my faith has held strong through the years, I’ve never given up Hope and there was always a shred of faith left. Do you know what God can do with that shred? He can do miracles. Yes, our God is a mighty God and He can take that tiny shred of faith and when the time is right He will blow that shred into something so big and beautiful you’ll be in complete awe. The funny thing is, that miracle may not be big to someone else but it’s not anyone else’s miracle but yours. It’s your journey. We may not even see that miracle as a blessing right away. Gods plans for our life are always so much bigger than the plans we have for ourselves. We put our dreams and thoughts for our future in a box and think that’s how it should be. God doesn’t have boxes, His thoughts are limitless and His power is greater than we can imagine. We just have to be willing to let Him do His thing. We just need to keep that shred of faith alive, to give it water and let it grow.
Where am I going with all of this you might be wondering. Honestly I’m not sure but I’m sitting here trying to eat lunch and all of these thoughts won’t stop racing through my mind. I like to call that the Holy Spirit talking to me. So, I listen and start typing. The last few months I’ve been struggling. The devil is working overtime to test me like he did Job. It’s maddening to me. I wake up some days and think today I will overcome. Today my faith will not be shaken. Then something gets thrown my way and what I should do is get on my knees and pray but often I forget that prayer is my first line of defense. I’m working on it.
I truly can not complain. I have an amazingly blessed life. Yes, I’m currently facing medical difficulties and I probably will for a very long time but is that reason to give up on God? Absolutely not!! So I wait…for the blessing. I will keep my faith, I will water it and let it grow. Something I’ve realized is its ok to tell God you’re mad at Him. You know what? He’s a loving God and He’s our father. He can take our anger, pain, frustrations, sadness and He can make it into something so much more beautiful. He wants us to come to Him in whatever mood we’re in, with whatever feelings we have because no matter what we bring to Him, we’re still bringing it to HIM! If we lay it at His feet, we don’t have to carry it anymore. He does and we’ve already been over how much bigger He is than us. You know what else? He loves you more than you could ever imagine and He wants us to be happy and feel His love. He also wants a relationship with us, one that can only be had through communicating with Him.
So today…today on a day I’m in pain, tired, worn out and thinking too much about the difficult road that lies ahead to battle the sickness in my body, I will lay it at His feet. I will wait patiently for the blessing. The blessing that I know deep in my heart God is waiting to give my family. The one we call Hope and it will be worth every difficult day I’ve faced along the road.